blogging again!

Thursday May 11, 2006

I feel like a little old lady today. In bed, with my knitting, pill bottles next to me... of course i spent the majority of the day being tortured by my dentist who, despite being a really nice and funny guy, I do not really wish to visit. Evidently one of my recent fillings has irritated the nerve and the filling has to be drilled out and the nerve removed. The first attempt was today, but after 5 shots of numbing juice and still feeling the drill Dr. Baker sent me home with a perscription for antibiotics and pain meds. I am sore and sleepy right now, and I have just now been rescued from the exausting influence of my 3 yearold nephew.

I have a book review today,

No Idle Hands; The Social History of American Knitting
by Anne L. MacDonald
ISBN 0345362535

This book is an exellent combination of two of my favorite things, knitting and history. Well written and entertaining, the book uses first person accounts and tales to entertain and inform the reader. Never dry and allways interesting, I reccomend this book to all Historically-minded knitters.

Friday May 12, 2006

I think writeing my blog entries this way will be more personal, although the knitting is slow and there is very little progress to speack of. I am in the 8th row of the Fishernet cable, the whole pattern is a 24 rows long. i hate how cables that sit on the edge of a peice of knitting get obsured, the next repeat will be easier to see.

the personal stuff, the real reason I started typeing today, is much more complicated than any cable. I don't really know what to say, except I am upset. It's always my family that upsets me. Mom thinks that my anxiety problem is minor, because I can still handle work and school. yes i function, yes i go to class and to work. I go because i am practically terrified not to go. what if I miss somthing on a test? what if, what if, what if... that is the constant litany of my life.

Anxiety: If i watch that movie i might not get the paper done,

me: the paper isn't due for a week

Anxiety: I can try and do both

me: okay

i end up distracted and sometimes, i simply cannot do the things i want to do because i am so caught up worrying about what i should do. there have been times that i didn't go spend time with a friend because i was terrified i would forget somthing i would need, and not get somthing done. I have laid in bed in the middle of the night terrifed to close my eyes, but i never know what i am afraid of. The whole thing makes me irritable and I become someone i don't want to be. okay. rant over. i'm done complaining.